Out of Control

Lately my life just feels completely out of control. Contributing factors:

-online classes with no professors for help
-new night class with even more homework and now less time to complete my other existing homework
-part time job
-full time calling that takes work during the week
-a house that can't stay clean-no dishwasher or time to clean up
-self-esteem that keeps lowering everyday
-husband that is consumed by work every second of the day

Just to name a few. I know I sound like a total complainer lately, and I'm sorry to any of my readers. It's just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it seems like I can't get on top of anything. And the reason it's so hard for me to see the light is because I have totally fallen off the spiritual train. I can't tell you the last time I read my scriptures, or said my prayers. I keep telling myself that today I'm gonna get back on track and I never do. I'm sick of being the weak person that I have been my entire life-I just don't know how to change. Maybe when we get our lives back in 3 weeks I will be able to fix a lot of my complaints and problems I create for myself. I just need to figure out how to make the Lord a priority in my life again.

Not Quite Normal

I decided today that I am ready to have my body back and normal again.

I have had a headache for 5 days now that just won't go away with medicine.
None of my clothes fit-old ones too small and maternity too big.
My hair is multiplying like no tomorrow.
Skin is getting back to normal now.

Yet everything is not quite normal. Ugh!

Unfortunately for me, I haven't gotten to the hardest stage yet. And I still have approximately 162 days until I can even start to try and get my old, normal self back. A baby is worth it right?

Happiness In A Glass, Topped Off With Ice

Tonight I discovered the one thing that holds true happiness for this pregnant girl

Okay so.... I know I am not supposed to have caffeine, but sometimes 

the rules need to be broken. 

And tonight I broke them big time! 

I had 3 16 oz glasses of my pure happiness and let me tell you - 

nothing could be wrong in the world for me right now.

Thank you Diet Coke for bringing me such happiness tonight

after a very long day. 

Now lets see if I can go to sleep at a decent hour!

Baby Photographer

So I know that I am thinking about things way too early but what can you expect? I think of everything way too early and I'm miss prepared (after all, our baby isn't due until July and my crib is up.) Today I decided to start looking at different photographers because apparently I'm supposed to book the newborn session before the baby is even born.

I am really not a fan of the photos where the parents are in black and the background is black too. I just think they are so common and I am not really into it. The only problem: I am having a hard time trying to find a photographer that is unique with baby photos....

Searching through tons of galleries today and websites I stumbled across a photographer that I really like. Jessica Fauset Photography has some really cute newborn photos and her session fee isn't horrible compared to some others I looked at. I just want darling pictures for a reasonable price and I need help finding the perfect person to take them. If you know of any great photographers that won't cost an arm and a leg, do share!

Welcome to the Sorority

This week I have started reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine. So far it has been very funny and entertaining yet very informant. Reading a pregnancy book has actually made me realize how many things bug me lately or how I get stressed over dumb things that don't matter yet.

For instance....my biggest stress right now is how to convert the guest room into a reasonable nursery, what I am going to name our child of which I don't know the sex yet, and how I can be kind in my absolute rejection and refusal of breast feeding when women convince me I am doing the wrong thing.

It's amazing how utterly stupid my cares and worries seem to be when I say them out loud or write them down. I know they shouldn't matter right now, but I just can't convince my brain to concentrate and worry about other things no matter how hard I try.

So whenever I am feeling like a loser and have no where else to run, I pick up my girlfriend guide. Vicki knows exactly what to say about the things I need an answer to and she doesn't make me feel stupid about it either. If there are any pregnant girls out there reading this I would highly recommend this book to you (just in case you have irrational worries and stress like I do.)

Anyway to end my ramblings, I hope everyone has a splendid week full of love and adventures! Peace out

WSU

Today was my first day as a Weber student and let me tell you it was overwhelming. As I logged on and got into my classes online I was expecting to be excited to be learning again and working toward a degree. Well....the excitement vanished quite quickly when I found out exactly what was expected of me this semester.

I had no idea online classes were going to be so difficult! 11 credit hours of work includes about 8 chapters of reading per week, 3 quizzes per week, 5-7 pages of writing per week, at least 4 assignments per week, and 3 online class discussion responses. This doesn't include exams either :(

After taking an entire semester off just to work and enjoy life, going back to school is like pulling teeth for me. Don't get me wrong, I love school, but I am absolutely dreading this next semester. It is my last semester of prerequisites before my program after all. Maybe that is what makes it even harder to take crap classes with double or even triple the work of the same class as a lecture course. Oh well.....

So here is to a new school year and hopefully lots of personal growth and a renewed hunger for knowledge. Good luck at school everyone!