Heartache

I never knew heartache until I became a mom, and my Anna bug is only 1 month old.

This last weekend was my sister's wedding and I was a little stressed out trying to get everything ready. On top of that, Anna had been throwing up all week long because of a formula we tried. Wedding + no sleep = one unhappy momma. Anyway....outside of the temple it was so crazy because there were brides everywhere. When Tommy and Sophie finally arrived we were all whisked away to take pictures. With so many people pictures took about 30 minutes. The day was exactly as Sophie had hoped, overcast with no rain and a slight breeze. These conditions made taking pictures quite enjoyable. But not for my Anna. My mind was so preoccupied with making sure everything was taken care of for the wedding so my sister could have her perfect day I didn't think to cover Anna for the time we were outside. Here is where the heartache part comes in...

About 24 hours after the picture taking, Anna had a bright red face and blisters on one half of her face. That's right, my little one got very badly sunburned and it was totally preventable. My mom kept her for the night on Sunday so Josh and I could get some much needed sleep and when I came to pick her up this morning I completely broke down and fell apart. Her face looked like it hurt so bad and I just felt terrible. I know what a sunburn feels like, believe me and it's not fun. And now my little bug had a bad sunburn and I felt like it was all my fault. It's just heartbreaking when she screams in pain because I have to clean her blisters and she can't get comfortable enough to sleep. I felt like I shouldn't have been given the responsibility to be her mom and take care of her because it felt like I had failed completely. First we were on a formula that made her sick for an entire week and then she gets sunburned. Thankfully my wonderful mother has been taking care of me and Anna today because we are both a mess. I seriously don't know what I would do without the remarkable woman I call my mother. And hopefully Anna can say the same thing about me some day.

Darling post about my lovely sister's wedding to come, with pictures even! Get excited :)